by Tammy on January 8, 2018

I woke up at 4:30am to use the bathroom and as usual, I had a difficult time falling back to sleep, so I lay in bed and prayed. And I began thinking about how God chose me. Being a Calvinist, I have come to understand that free-will is a bit of a misnomer. Perhaps we all DO have the opportunity to choose God, but we love our sin too much. The Bible says that we can come to God only when the Holy Spirit draws us to Him. Otherwise, we have no interest in spiritual things. We are worldly beings. I think about the times that I’ve chosen sin over God, and I feel ashamed. Why would God continue to pursue me when I’ve turned my back on him time and time again? The answer is because HE chose ME rather than the other way around, and in John 6:38-40, Jesus said,

For I have come down from heaven, not to do my own will but the will of him who sent me. And this is the will of him who sent me, that I should lose nothing of all that he has given me, but raise it up on the last day. For this is the will of my Father, that everyone who looks on the Son and believes in him should have eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day.”

Not only did God choose me, but I cannot lose my salvation. I am His for eternity, not because of anything I have done, but because of his immense mercy.

I can hear it now–“But that’s not fair! Why didn’t He choose everyone?” Well, that is a mystery, but in Romans 9:10-18, Paul tells the story of Esau and Jacob. God said he hated Esau but loved Jacob. The story goes like this:

And not only so, but also when Rebekah had conceived children by one man, our forefather Isaac, 11though they were not yet born and had done nothing either good or bad—in order that God’s purpose of election might continue, not because of works but because of him who calls— she was told, “The older will serve the younger.” As it is written, “Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated.” What shall we say then? Is there injustice on God’s part? By no means! For he says to Moses, “I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.” So then it depends not on human will or exertion,b but on God, who has mercy. For the Scripture says to Pharaoh, “For this very purpose I have raised you up, that I might show my power in you, and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.” So then he has mercy on whomever he wills, and he hardens whomever he wills.

God is God. He cannot be unjust. In fact, His options are justice and mercy. He is never unjust because we ALL deserve death for breaking His law. Our sin condemns us, and as our judge, He chooses to pardon us or to condemn us to the death we deserve, and it is completely up to Him which He chooses.

My family is unrepentant. I cannot understand why they have no fear of God. I pray that God will soften their hearts and show them the truth, but ultimately it His decision. I want them with me for eternity, but if they end up apart from me, then it is because they are only getting what they deserve and I am not. It is a sad and scary thought, but it is reality.

Jasper is going back to the vet today. He is a little better, but he still cannot eat well. I just want to make sure I am doing everything I can for him and make him as comfortable as possible. I am pretty sure he had a run in with my silky terrier. I think he was on the floor with her when she was eating and she snapped at him and got his head. I want to make sure nothing is fractured and get him some more pain meds. I just want my old Jasper back. It makes me sad to know that he is hurting. I’ll update later.

*JASPER UPDATE* The vet thinks he has a bruise near his beak and a scratched eye. She gave me more pain medication and an oral antibiotic for him. She also wants me to put drops in his eye. She kind of forced his beak open and when we got home, he actually ate more normally, so I am hopeful that every day will get better from here. I have never been so happy to see him eating and opening his beak. I nearly cried!

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Susan January 10, 2018 at 3:55 am

Hi Tammy, happy to get your blog tag today! Hope Jasper gets better soon. I was just talking to my grand kids about how God gave man the freedom to chose between good and bad. They are at an age when they will listen and they ask some good questions. Jazzy wanted to know who created God. I told her that He was just always there. I told her how we will have questions that we don’t have answers for. I talked about faith and trusting in God. I love to hear them pray. I am getting Jazzy a Bible for Easter. Maybe Audrina too. Keep praying for your kids Tammy. Hugs


Susan January 24, 2018 at 6:19 pm

Hi Tammy, how you doing?


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